These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid self-evaluation. They may be particularly helpful to newcomers.

Denial Patterns

• I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling
• I minimise, alter or deny how I truly feel
• I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others.

Low Self-Esteem Patterns

• I have difficulty making decisions
• I judge everything I think, say or do harshly as never good enough
• I am embarrassed to receive recognition, praise or gifts
• I do not ask others to meet my needs and desires
• I value others approval of my thinking, feelings and behaviour over my own
• I do not perceive myself as a loveable or worthwhile human being

Compliance Patterns 

• I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others’ anger
• I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same
• I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long
• I am often afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own
• I put aside my own interests in order to do what others want
• I accept sex when I want love

Control Patterns

• I believe most other people are incapable of caring for themselves
• I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how they "truly" feel
• I become resentful when others will not let me help them
• I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked
• I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about
• I use sex to gain approval and acceptance
• I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others